This past year has been emotionally exhausting and mentally draining for many people. We are in the midst of a pandemic, a civil rights movement and in an election year on top of experiencing the trials and tribulations of life. I have felt very sensitive and have been especially vulnerable, feeling that in a world where everyone is so busy and involved in their own lives, who am I to take up space? Who am I to speak up? No one cares. No one wants to hear what I think. I don’t matter… This is the mind crack that has been on repeat for me. When I’ve heard a criticism or feedback from a friend, colleague or mentor, I have steeped to the bottom of a pit of unworthiness, feeling inadequate and insignificant. The criticisms already exist in me and are activated when I look for evidence that they are true.
What’s the voice inside your head saying that makes you feel you are insignificant?
My coach, Susan Hyatt, proposed I try a 2 week “I AM significant” challenge. I wrestled with this because I have felt that the concept of significance is a slippery slope between the heart (confidently claiming my worth to be seen, heard and valued) and the ego (looking for validation, approval and acceptance). The word significance is defined in the dictionary as the quality of being important and goes back to the Latin roots “to signify” from signum “a sign, mark”. To be honest, I didn’t even know where to start with this challenge. Then I thought about it. The voice inside my head said “look for a sign and make your mark. I saw this card at Target yesterday. Yes, it’s a birthday card, but I bought it for myself. It was a reminder that I am significant.
You have the power to change the world. Maybe you don’t know it yet. Maybe you’ve been hiding, playing small, going through your day to day feeling less than. Someone may have told you at a very young age that you are not good enough because you’re too short, too fat, too dumb, too black, too female, too this or that. Perhaps you look in the mirror and think you don’t like what you see and that you can be better. Or you may look at a picture and tell yourself that you need to lose weight, get Botox, dress differently, change your hair color or get an entire makeover. You may even avoid pictures completely and go years without commemorating memories because you don’t feel like being seen.
These are the things that we say to ourselves that keep us down. When we hear criticisms, whether they are harsh or deemed as “feedback”, it can really sting if we are already saying this to ourselves. Consider this…what have you been thinking on repeat? Is it something to the tune of…
“When I have this, I will be worthy of getting noticed.” “When I look like this, I will be ready to present myself.” “When I get this, I will have that.”
This is conditional thinking that keeps us small. It’s time to flip the script. It’s time for the most important person in your life – YOU – to tell you the honest truth.
I am the architect of my life. I build my own foundation and I choose my own bricks. I am a powerhouse. I am improving, innovating and getting better everyday. I have the power to change the world.
This blog post, my first pep talk, is my mark. I invite you to go make your mark! Share what you are doing to feel significant in the comments below. If you feel this pep talk can brighten someone’s day, share this with them and let them know they are significant too.